"We must stare into a crystal ball and only see the past"

I'm going to create a new post, even though I just did, because this one is going to be about another subject entirely. You can't help who you have feelings for, I wish people would understand that. If you like someone then they shouldn't feel awkward around you, or you them. You should just be comfortable around them as a friend, that you just happen to have feelings for. And I'm not really talking about anyone in particular right now, these are just my thoughts right now. Sometimes you want to be with someone so bad, you think that you'll settle for anyone. And that's what I used to do...but with guys. I used to say yes just to be with someone. And I learned that you'll never be happy that way. But sometimes you see people that have girlfriends/boyfriends/significant others and you want to be like them. You want to have someone there that you can rely on, that you can talk to, that you can hold hands with. Everyone wants that, but sometimes the feeling is stronger than other times. Reminiscing can be a good or bad thing, right now it's a bad thing. It's hard to hear about an ex talk about their crush or girlfriend. You just feel like you weren't good enough for them, even though you did everything you could for them, probably more than they deserved. But you just have to get over it, otherwise you'll never move on. Everything happens for a reason, and if I'm no longer with that person, then it's because something else needs to happen that can't happen if I was still with them. Being single can suck sometimes, but it's also good because it frees you to meet people that you normally wouldn't get to meet or hang out with.

Okay I'm going to stop being a girl now and stop complaining. My life is pretty damn good compared to other people's lives and I should be grateful, for everything. That's hard to do, especially when you're depressed and so stressed out and overwhelmed that you feel like you're going to collapse, but I'm going to do my best.

"We must stare into a crystal ball and only see the past. And into the caverns of tomorrow with just our flashlights and our love, we must plunge, we must plunge, we must plunge." .....oh Bright Eyes, you have a way with words.